Effective Communication for BDSM (Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism)

Spanking, tying up and punishing all look very polished in adult movies. We can’t stop ourselves from being awed by the discipline exercised by the master or mistress, the punishments that follow and the sequence of events that lead to great sex. BDSM shown in the movies and featured in erotic novels is always well organised and properly controlled.

BDSM beginners

When novice couples try BDSM at home, they are likely to face many problems. Sometimes, these problems make the moments tragic, hilarious or unromantic depending on the situation and the type of communication they have. If you have BDSM on your mind and your partner gives consent for it, there are certain things you must keep in mind. BDSM warm-up, understanding and communication is very important before you incorporate fun and games into your sex life.

BDSM warm-ups

Communication, warming up and foreplay is important for all types of sex, even if it does not involve bondage and punishment games. Communication between partners is especially important for couples who are new to BDSM. Bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism all involve one of the partners to be a top or a dominant and the other to be a bottom or a submissive. Tops or domineers normally do all the instructing and organising whereas bottoms or submissives merely obey the rules or commandments. This makes the work for a top more difficult because he or she is responsible for the events that take place in BDSM games.

Here are a few things to be remembered by tops to keep things under control:

• Get into the mood by catching some BDSM movies
• Wear latex/spandex clothing to get into the role
• Practice your authoritative voice
• Keep some sexual aids such as handcuffs and whips handy to demonstrate your power
• Make sure you buy the best quality BDSM toys to avoid any mishaps or accidents
• Confirm with your partner, if he or she is okay with the things and is not intimidated by these aids
• Try blindfolding your partner; suspense increases the intensity. (Sometimes blindfolding can cause anxiety in some people, confirm with your partner about it before you use this technique)

At every stage, communication between partners is important and the tops should ask their partners if they are okay with undertaking the various BDSM acts.