Plain Sex to BDSM Sex – Introducing BDSM to your Sex Life

When a couple is in a long-term relationship and boredom creeps into the bedroom, they do many things to bring the fun back into their lives. Some couples go on holiday, some resort to sex games, some resort to kinkiness and some take salvage from BDSM. Without being fully aware, many couples are secretly into power struggle games with one of them being a dominant or the rule maker (fixing dates, initiating new changes) and one of them accepting the rules.

Sometimes, the dominant person in the outside life inherently dreams to be controlled and can be a great sub in his or her sex life. What goes on outside the bedroom does not necessarily happen inside. If you want to incorporate BDSM into your sex life, the first thing you need to do is find out what you want to be. Do you have the makings of a dominatrix or a submissive? Master or the slave. Find out if your partner has the inclination to be in this kind of relationship before embarking on your journey.

Once you both are ready to accept your roles and you have communicated and talked this through, the next step is to research. Buy books on BDSM or read blogs and websites that relate to BDSM. Once this is done, you can get bondage and discipline gear from adult shops. Many online adult shops feature a wide assortment of bondage gear. Choose your equipment carefully and go through all the safety instructions. Again discuss this thoroughly with your partner and understand the consequences of this change. Discuss to what extent and how often you wish to participate in BDSM and come to some agreement.

This discussion is very important. Determine each other’s interests, limitations, fantasies and boundaries. Let the pace be slow initially, don’t embark on BDSM games as shown in adult movies and featured in erotic stories. Most couples who are together for a long time are good at communicating and compromising, so discussing BDSM shouldn’t cause any trouble. This discussion is no different to other things that you discuss, take it in your stride and you should be fine.